IT’S MONDAY... SURVIVING...
IT’S FRIDAY... AND OTHER IRRITANTS

“It’s Monday”, “Surviving”, “Two more days to go”, “Its’ Friday” (or TGIF if you really want to be cutesy) have become the catchall responses to “How are you ?” “How’s it going ?” “How’s your new job ?” “How is life in general ?” “What do you think of the changes ?” “Who will win the elections ?”

MARIA DWEGGAH, WHO

Perhaps you simply forgot that there are other ways of answering, like in the old days: “I am fine, thank you” or “Not doing so well today” or “Getting there” ; “I’m hopeful and I am doing my best” ; “I try to be positive” ; “I’m having a bad day but it will be ok." Or perhaps you think you need to jog our memories in case we forgot the days of the week. We know how to count the days of the week as well as you. Duh, after Monday, there is Tuesday and then Wednesday and then Thursday, the day before Friday.
Now if you are one of the few remaining dinosaurs who have not caught on to the day-of-the-week-speak, here are lessons on how you can express those special feelings about yourself, your job, the state of the earth, your life. The It’s Monday greeting is usually accompanied by the raising of the shoulders, a painful, dejected look on the face, a shaking of the head, a slow shaking of the head and a low moan, “It’s Monday.” The It’s Friday one, on the other hand, comes with a smile, a big smile, shoulders straight, dreamy look on the face of things to come with a sing song announcement “It’s Friday.” The Surviving one can be substituted for the Monday or Friday greeting but it is usually kept for the middle of the week, as the other two work so well. Now the body language on this one, aside the even more stooped shoulders, the even more painful look is for you to portray a creature so miserable, suffering from unimaginable horrors who would rather be anywhere but where he is. The “Surviving” is announced almost in the same manner as the It’s Monday greeting but even more mournful tones.
The one I left out and which peeves me the most is the “48 months, 14 days, five hours and let me see... seven minutes... thirtythree seconds, ah, 32 sorry” reply. I’ll save that one for another time.