Is bad behaviour increasing in the workplace
or has it always been part of the corporate
culture? Tempers getting shorter? Are people
in power becoming more nasty, aggressive,
rude, abusive, threatening? Though articles on
bad behaviour are often written about managers,
bad behaviour is not solely limited to
them. Bad behaviour can come from anyone
who has or has been given the power to make
you feel bad about yourself, scared, anxious,
intimidated, nervous or sad. It can be your
office mate, a colleague, a member of your
team. It can be bottom up or top down.
These fools have no notion of proper social
behaviour. They have been allowed to conduct
themselves in this manner for much too
long; it is second nature to them Their abusiveness
goes unchecked, never reprimanded.
People are afraid to confront them and their
bad behaviour is tolerated. When someone
does complain, “best practice” of the UN prevails —
the complainer is moved and the pattern
is repeated with the next victim. Or,
worse yet, these ill-mannered oafs are given a
slap on the hand and reassigned/dumped
elsewhere, at times promoted, bringing their
style of behaviour to other unsuspecting
folks. Those who do not complain, suffer in
silence and patiently wait for the opportune
moment to make their escape.
Much effort and money are
spent on behaviour modification,
mediation and training.
When none of this works, these
repeat offenders need a different
kind of modification. Hit
them where it hurts, their wallets.
Try a month without pay,
then two months. The Staff
Rules provide for bad conduct.
For once apply the rules! Behaviour
modification not working?
Show them the door. See how quickly their
behaviour is modified when concrete
action is taken.
Then there are the occasional offenders
who are basically good people but due to
stress, illness, preoccupation with their own
personal or work situation, may forget that
there is a human being at the other end of
their momentary rudeness, harsh words or
criticism. A simple reminder that their behaviour
is hurtful and not welcomed will most
likely bring them to their senses. And once
they are made aware, they will apologize. If it
becomes a habit, then concrete action as
described above should be taken.
As a staff rep, I am occasionally asked
advice on how to deal with verbal abusive
behaviour. At a time of employment precariousness,
people feel powerless and afraid to
speak out. They don’t want to complain; they
don’t know who to complain to; they don’t
want to make trouble and they don’t want to
risk losing their jobs. Those new to the UN
are mystified that these abusive people can
continue to keep their jobs despite a clear
track record of bad behaviour and frequent
abuse. UN staff are not supposed to behave
this way, they say. I remind them that people
are people, whether in the UN, the public or
private sector. Until we say NO to bad behaviour,
the bad behaviour will continue. Staff
surveys, climate surveys, management surveys,
integrity surveys won’t do a bit of good
if bad behaviour is allowed to continue.
I listen and try to give them the courage
and some simple tools to stand up to these
idiots. For most of us, being assertive and
standing up for ourselves is very difficult.
Apart from breathing exercises, taking “difficult conversation” courses, giving the evil
eye, trying to reason with the person, try this.
It may require some serious practice in front
of a mirror or with friends. Next time a colleague,
supervisor, your admin or anyone you
deal with speaks to you in a discourteous,
abusive manner, put on the “Robert de Niro”
face (like in the picture above), look around
you and then with an innocent air ask «Excuse me, are you talking to me»? Hopefully
this will stop the person or at least slow
him down. Now if the abusive behaviour is
being directed to your colleague, just step up
to the fool and say, “Excuse me, you talking
to her?” People are given the power to
behave badly. We give them the power. They
need to be stopped. With a collective effort,
we can stop them.
