SDC what? SDCR*, Mr Jones, Strategic Direction
and Competency Review. We are
pleased to inform you that your department is
being right sized. Yes, right sized. No, no Mr
Jones, it’s not like that. Job loss? Well you see
we are going through a rigorous review of the
competencies needed to carry out our strategic
vision. We prefer to use a term that better
describes the process. Downsize sounds so,
well, so vulgar, and really does not convey the
true objective of the exercise.
We don’t want to worry our staff unnecessarily.
You know how they hate change. They
can be so recalcitrant at times. Well, yes,
they have seen many changes in the past 10
years but this is what it is all about: change,
change and more change. You need to
change, you need to keep up with the times.
Well, actually, the secret is (and that is
between you and me only Mr Jones), the
secret is that while you are changing so
much, and the work falls behind, well, you
can always blame it on change! No need for
analysis, contemplation or evaluation if you
are always in change mode. And, also
between you and me, it keeps them on their
toes, Mr Jones. Yes, on their toes. Nothing
like a dose of uncertainty to shake them up
and keep them down.
Another good tactic is to take away their
personal space, that feeling of ownership. We
tried with the parking spaces, it got a bit
sticky. Didn’t think they would take it so personally.
We don’t have enough space for our
staff, so we knocked down our office walls
and gave it a fancy title, collaborative work
space. Eighty staff where there used to be 30?
Well, a simple oversight, Mr Jones. Well, I
guess it promotes collaboration as people
have to negotiate who is going to leave their
seat first, as there won’t be enough room for
two people to stand up at the same time.
Reduction? No, no nothing like this. Job loss?
well yes, there is a good probability that the
exercise will entail the abolition of some
functions. Well, yes, also posts – and people –
but it is mainly functions that will disappear.
How many will lose their jobs? Good question,
Mr Jones. You see, Mr Jones, the primary
goal is to ensure we have the right functional
structure in place to ensure we meet
our Strategic Objectives and ultimately maximize
our resources to meet today’s global
health challenges. So how many will have to
go? Let’s not focus on that, Mr Jones. We
should focus on the procedure that will make
for a better organization more in tune with its
current goal — the right person at the right
place at the right time.
* Even I have trouble remembering what these letters stand for, let alone pronounce them. I know the C stands for cuts, sorry, competency, and the R for Reduction, ah no, sorry, Review. Now what are the S and D? Ah yes, S for strategic? D? you got me, dumping salarial? oh hell let me go to the web site. So it is Strategic Direction and Competency Review.
