UN Special No 541 Juin - June 2005

I have written a number of articles about workplace issues. This one is about workplace attitude – the simple act of greeting each other. Not one day goes by where a colleague does not make remarks to me about the lack of courtesy, either in the elevator, in the corridor, in line waiting for coffee or on the floor where he or she works. Many of us come from places where it is the custom that when you cross people on the street, you say hello. Many of us come from places where you don’t only say hello, good morning, good evening and how are ya, we also ask about the family, the children, the husband, the cousin, le marigot and on and on. Sometimes the greeting can take a while. Not only does it include verbal communication but also movement. I remem when I was a Peace Corps volunteer in Togo, back in the 70’s. I was assigned to Sokodé, a rural city in the middle of the country. The greeting there was an elaborate show of elegance, strength and gymnastics, (as I recall by women only) whereby each exchange was followed by squatting closer and closer to the ground (well, you had to be there to really appreciate it). The women would perform these dancelike movements in a graceful and effortless style in spite of the heavy loads on their heads. A true balance act. One that totally would exhaust the uninitiated and cause your thigh muscles to scream in pain.
I come from a background where if you did not greet the neighbours, all the neighbours even the ones that lived on another block, your parents’ friends or any relative you have ever met or not met, you’d get a swat on the side of your head. Many of you may recall weddings, funerals, family picnics, social functions of all kinds where you had to go around and shake everyone’s hands or at least say hello to them. «Did you go say hi to your uncle?» «No» «Get over there!» Sometimes it paid off. They actually gave you a few coins or a bill. But that was not the reason why I did it. I had to. And then it became a habit and it has just stuck with me. It seems quite normal that when two humans meet, they should greet each other.
OK, ok, I know that if you are in a big city things change and one needs to adapt, and quickly. I remember during my annual leave back in 1974, while I was in Togo, I stopped off in Geneva and as I was walking down the street, a woman was watering her plants on the second floor and I yelled up to her, «Bonjour Madame.» She looked at me with the most perplexed look, or was it the look of terror, and immediately closed the shutters. Oh well… I said to myself.
After four years in Togo I landed at the Airport in NY and took a bus to Port of Authority, the huge bus station downtown (or is it uptown, I can never get that straight). I was saying good morning to everyone. And funny enough to the African-Americans I started speaking French and saying «Bonjour». That still happens to me. Man, what a culture shock! Especially when I had to use the ladies room and there were at least three or four mean looking women sitting on the lavabos. My fear instincts which had been asleep for four years suddenly came to life. I said a very brave hello and an audacious «excuse me» and proceeded to wash my hands; well yes, of course after one of them got off the sink.
I have crossed people on the street, on foot paths, on the sidewalk, in the corridors, on the bus on the train, in restaurants, on an airplane, in the elevator, in meeting rooms, in the ladies room, in my own office without a word of greeting. And feeling totally guilty about it. What are we animals I would say to myself? How did I get to this point? Why am I behaving this way? This is not how I was raised. I really don’t want to live my life like this.
What is the general reaction you get when you say hello to colleagues in the corridor or in the elevator or «good-by, have a nice day» when you get out? You wonder why it is that when you say hello, the person looks at you, unsure of how to respond, does so very quietly and then puts his head down, as if it is something soooooo very strange and embarrassing to do. What is happening to us? Do we work so much around machines that we are becoming one? Are we forgetting to communicate with our mouths? With our hearts?
Think about it. Next time you are in an elevator or walking down the corridor, say hello. Don’t get discouraged by that look of consternation, the «you talking to me» look. And better yet while you say hello, attempt to say it with a smile. Smiling is healthy. And it is contagious. And even better yet, why not do it “EN CHANTANT” à la Michel Sardou!