Worse than watching grass grow
You can’t open a newspaper, listen to the radio or watch television without being assaulted by a flood of sports. There was Roland Garros, Wimbledon, the Grand Prix of Monaco, Sydney and elsewhere, the Euro football championship, the Tour de France and soon there will be the Olympic Games. Enough, it’s too much!
What’s more, it’s always the same people running after the ball (when, between us, they could each buy one for themselves), the same people facing each other on the tennis court and on the racetrack. It is even more boring than listening to the weather report or the stock market report. Everywhere on trains, on buses, at the office, everybody is talking about it. Sports have invaded our lives like a horde of locusts in an African wheat field. I even imagine that among certain aficionados of football, the pillow talk goes something like, “You saw it, darling, the corner kick and the superb header in the 54th minute! It was sublime!”
It is true that sports have their virtues: They let you forget about the wars, the hunger in the world, and the problems with your mother-in- law, the boss and the upstairs neighbour. What’s more, sports make a lot of money for a lot of people, and, as Juvenal said, “panem et circenses” – as long as people have bread and a circus, they forget everything else.
Dear colleagues, it is time to fight back! Let’s repel the imperialism of sports, this acute epidemic that invades our brains. That is why UNSpecial proposes to create a non-sports club, of which the only activity will be to sip a cool drink on a terrace while discussing Paul Auster’s last book, the first film of Léa Frazer or my charming neighbour who just moved in across the hall. After these opening remarks, the members of the club will partake of a light meal washed down with some nicely chilled Côte du Rhône. Then, following a nap sheltered from the heat, we will finish off the afternoon in style with a small stroll with the person of your choice, to taste some wild strawberries and to breathe in the sweet aroma of the honeysuckle of our countryside. To sign yourself up, only one address is needed: unspecial@unece.org.
Happy vacation to everybody.