Worse than watching grass grow
You cant open a newspaper, listen to the radio or watch television
without being assaulted by a flood of sports. There was Roland Garros,
Wimbledon, the Grand Prix of Monaco, Sydney and elsewhere, the Euro
football championship, the Tour de France and soon there will be the
Olympic Games. Enough, its too much!
Whats more, its always the same people running after the
ball (when, between us, they could each buy one for themselves), the
same people facing each other on the tennis court and on the racetrack.
It is even more boring than listening to the weather report or the stock
market report. Everywhere on trains, on buses, at the office, everybody
is talking about it. Sports have invaded our lives like a horde of locusts
in an African wheat field. I even imagine that among certain aficionados
of football, the pillow talk goes something like, You saw it,
darling, the corner kick and the superb header in the 54th minute! It
was sublime!
It is true that sports have their virtues: They let you forget about
the wars, the hunger in the world, and the problems with your mother-in-
law, the boss and the upstairs neighbour. Whats more, sports make
a lot of money for a lot of people, and, as Juvenal said, panem
et circenses as long as people have bread and a circus,
they forget everything else.
Dear colleagues, it is time to fight back! Lets repel the imperialism
of sports, this acute epidemic that invades our brains. That is why
UNSpecial proposes to create a non-sports club, of which the only activity
will be to sip a cool drink on a terrace while discussing Paul Austers
last book, the first film of Léa Frazer or my charming neighbour
who just moved in across the hall. After these opening remarks, the
members of the club will partake of a light meal washed down with some
nicely chilled Côte du Rhône. Then, following a nap sheltered
from the heat, we will finish off the afternoon in style with a small
stroll with the person of your choice, to taste some wild strawberries
and to breathe in the sweet aroma of the honeysuckle of our countryside.
To sign yourself up, only one address is needed: unspecial@unece.org.
Happy vacation to everybody.
Editor-in-Chief, Jean Michel Jakobowicz